Monday Slugs

As I sit here pondering my next topic, drinking my luxurious CEO tea from my luxurious and prestigious CEO Corporate Dick coffee mug, I realize how fortunate I am to not be those of you who are not of my elite caliber of posterity. Most of you think that CEOs such as myself are to be hated simply because we are CEOs. What the nimble heads that sensationalize my wealth to my performance don't convey to you who have to work for individuals such as I, is that we, CEOs, have to make the tough decisions even though we hire lackeys to do some of our unpleasant work. We call these lackeys Management, aka Directors, Managers etc. (not executives such as Vice Presidents as they do almost as little as us CEOs). These lackeys then hire their own lackeys (called Supervisors) to do most of their unpleasant work so that they can relax some and enjoy performing their ineptness for the company's benefit. Do you see how we came to the point of "out sourcing"? It appalls me when I am confronted by one of these lackeys who simply can't take actions to perform their duties on their own initiative without me having to tell them to do the particular action. So weak are these types that I know instantly they are not "executive" level material and need to be replaced. If you as a manager are over budget because you don't have enough dollars to cover the year then you simply need to reduce your labor force. It matters not what the story is other than if you are over budget you have not done your job. Take some pride in destroying someones present for pity's sake. And so it is that when our organizations do terrible it is the CEO who gets the complete brunt of being the bad evil one who ruined lives, so why shouldn't we get millions upon millions, a company jet, parties paid for by the company and platinum parachutes? It's tough mingling in the country club showers and letting one of the other CEOs snap my rear with a flick of their towel. Sure most of them are butt slamming homos, but that doesn't change the fact that they like money, lots of money. Too bad most of them focus more on picking up the soap from the shower floor than trying to really hit that little golf ball. I really hate a lackey who tries to act and hang with my caliber of class. They never win the soap in the shower game. Though our kids are just as screwed up as theirs doesn't mean we have much in common. I usually make more than 500 times what a lackey makes in a year. I just wish my fellow shower mates would try steam bath yo yo games and that new aloe soap.

CD