Small Bonus Increases for All

Since most employees, those of the lower expectation levels, the ones beneath the elite, beneath great CEOs such as myself, are voluble in most everything they attempt, it is difficult to keep the ship headed with an appropriate compass and afflatus. They brood and hibernate in the strangest of places, and many find themselves in the same place after 20, 30, or even 40 years. I have often wondered what differentiates their ilk from that of mine. Why would anyone devote the majority of their existence towards building a personal shrine within the suffocating confines of a 6 foot by 6 foot open cubicle area? Perhaps the pictures, comic strips, and other nonsense are survival tools that have been utilized since the discovery of cave men worshiping bear remains and drawing stick figures. Could it be that there is an innate disdain towards work? Certainly the Internet was a useful tool in prehistoric times. MyCave.com was probably the most popular MySpace type cave site. I should probably check in with that Geico commercial guy on this. Yes Trolly, I know, I almost suffocated wearing that tie yesterday. However, I did persuade the board to give me a lucrative bonus of 75 million. It is only 25 million larger than last year, but losses this year were in the billions instead of profits so it is well justified. I did my job and it is common sense. They know that in times of trouble CEOs need more compensation to build a more permanent dock for the ship, plus construction costs for the new addition to my mansion will cost more as prices rise. The subordinate executives need larger retention bonuses too, and the lower minions will be excited as I received board approval to give them each a 2 dollar coupon to Almostgone.com for Christmas. That will cost us a million in cash but I think it is well spent. You know, keep them happy. The board was also very impressed with my new exciting and innovative company Internet initiative. Imagine Trolly, a corporate website where management can send employees notices that they are being fired. Bodily injury and harm risks will be significantly reduced as well as medical and liability insurance costs. Damn it… I think I just wet my pants. Sometimes I get really excited over certain projects.

CD
Sometimes when I look back and reflect I see nothing.