A Happy Place - A Quick Lesson

Go fuck yourself you twisted tulip duster! That was the last thing she said and the last time I ever saw her. Of course today I know she never was real but the voices still reign prominently in my head. It is what keeps me burning, this never ending desire to dust tulips. I guess elitism has its costs and consequences. Some people just can not hang with greatness. So what is wrong with dusting tulips? At least I am not trying to destroy the planet by becoming a vegetarian. I mean study after study has proven scientifically that vegetarians emit 30,000 times the level of caustic gases compared to those who eat meat, poultry and fish along with vegetables. None of the founding fathers of the greatest nation on Earth were vegetarians. And all were known farters. Benjamin Franklin loved to smell his own farts. This is a known fact that was found in one of his first farmer almanacs. George Washington lied about many things but finally confessed to eating duck, cow, trout and corn husks at the same sitting. All one need look at is the simple horse and cow as an example. Both exists on a vegan diet only. Neither eat humans, nor themselves. So if we fed them cell phones and oysters maybe their phone sex lives would improve but what about the left overs? I hope this little lesson has served a purpose of guidance for those of you clamoring about below your sea level capabilities. Sure you will harp about four dollar a gallon gas, how sad your existence seems, how lonely you are, the terrible atrocities of war that is being orchestrated in the middle east, and the need to do things that are Earth friendly. Only the truly great ones, such as myself, seem to grasp that the truly Earth friendly events are those that are borne of cataclysmic deus ex machina so that we view things as they are. How else could you function in a happy place?

CD
Everything is as it appears unless you are you.