The Only Remaining Competition? Failing Efficiently.

As I continue to rise in my decreasing popularity and increased prominence of superiority towards royalty free iPoop, I come to the realization that in the process of Obama and Biden's pursuit of destroying the efficiencies of capitalism they are directly challenging my position for most successful failures.  My mind turns rapidly counter clockwise as it tries to determine if this is an intentional challenge or simply a mere accidental coincidence of incompetence.  I fear the former but then again Obama is from Harvard.


CD
The only good democrat is one that is powerless. 

New Pinkie Pantie Panther Party Expose Panties With Ranties for NAACP

As the New Pinkie Pantie Panther Party exonerates their squirting zits and pick their noses declaring proximity of no existence a faint disposition begins to appear on the horizon of Obama politics.  With Tony Hayward no where to be found the distraction away from the greatest intellectual failures regains hyper focus directly at the democrats and Obama.  New promise apparently is greatest in the impending collapse of the economy as the spend thrift keeps whipping out his American Distress credit card and delivers us to chaotic welfare and despair.  What's a poor boy from Chicago to do?  With his prominent foot in mouth attorney general disseminating judicial fungus, as well as SEIU and ACORN anti democracy practices come to light, there is only lower places or people to turn too to help distract attention away from the Bush Bashing, Hope and Change touting, War Disowning, Transparent Phony intellectual.  Enter the New Pinkie Pantie Panther Party.  With a leader who looks like the twin of P Diddy only one other organization can wield more power than a fly stuck on fly paper.  The NAACP now declares the Tea Party is racist?  How convenient.  Simply genius.  One minor glitch in the whole design.  The majority of Americans are now wise to the pied pipers antics and have reconciled themselves to one resolve.  We need to legalize marijuana.

CD
Sometimes politicians make us wish we had a deadly venereal disease. 

Federal Investigations

My dear low level non-essential employees or employees to be, federal investigations are simply undertaken to appease the masses, so they feel warm and fuzzy that something is being done about the issue, so as to avoid or keep the investigators from being identified as the real culprits of transgressions and or criminal activity, and to provide them a safe haven and path to keep their positions of power. Poor Barney. They certainly Pelosi'd things into a fine mess.

CD
Sometimes Barney is larger and more than a purple dinosaur.

A CEOs Perfect Storm

I have to confess. It is of shear folly and delight for CEOs such as myself that the current situation, and the trying times to come, have distracted the minions to boo and hiss at their elected officials who will take that battering in lieu of holding the status quo so that CEOs, rich and cunning CEOs like me, can take full advantage of the $700 billion deal that will line the pockets of my own, my corporation, and these fine elected officials who care so much for the crying have not masses. Oh the joy of capitalist treachery!!! Obama will get richer, McCain will get richer, Biden will get richer, Palin will get richer, all of congress and senate will get richer, and more lucrative jobs for the non-subjective media will get created as the incumbent media reporters feign their disdain at what the greed is doing to the common folk while they themselves make even more millions.

CD
Sometimes capitalists are needed when they are hated most.

Naughtical Assuage

Superb to be insane while appearing well. No doubt all are feeling the strain of the horrible situation being felt by the award of the Air Force contract to Northrop Grumman and EADS and not to Boeing. Because Boeing lost they complained. Because EADS is a foreign company that partnered with Northrop, and because the timing is in the midst of a heated Democratic presidential campaign, the non-issue is now a major issue of such proportions that one should just offer their job up to any foreigner who will have it. Besides, you can then have time to do what you want. How dare this pontification be allowed to happen! Great CEOs will simply point out that the company submitted a proposal and that throughout the process the government agency in control of the procurement action was aware of the corporate teams participating in the game of schmoozing to get the win. This is a prime example of why it is just better to play it like Boeing, cheat and take the gamble of getting caught. Even if you get caught it's only a short term thing which, as I've pointed out before, doesn't matter. It's the long term that counts. Unless you're a CEO like Spitzer and even then there really is no harm on the home front as it is accepted and expected by the spouses of said scandal participant. Did I say scandal? CEOs know no such word. Perhaps I have spent too much time with the lower class at CNN and FOX. Since my day began with this silliness crammed in front of my face upon awakening, I walked around the workers area for a bit. Then I realized some had two monitors on their desks while others only had one. Conclusion? It is more cost effective to increase profits by cheating and not trying new approaches. Waste means more profits. On a brighter note Mary Ann from Gilligans Island television fame was caught with marijuana in her car. I wonder if anyone notified homeland security. We can not have productivity threatened like this. But let us find some way to assuage all of this so we can feel good, in a liberal republican way. The Demorepubleral way. A naughtical (spelling intended) way. I hear Glenn Beck conferred with an archbishop about Barack Obama, and then Media Matters accused Glenn Beck of calling Barack Obama the Antichrist. Then Keith Olbermann awarded Glenn Beck an award for being worse because he called Barack the Antichrist. Not that Olbermann is good on any level, it is just some bottom feeders are persistent. Great CEOs never have to be either (the Antichrist or bottom feeders). Maybe Glenn should hook up with Mary Ann, Media Matters, and Keith Olbermann to smoke with them.

CD

The Agony of Capitalism

It is quite astonishing the disdain that success in American business can brood. It is even comical how some see the world differently than the greatest CEO such as myself. In discussions with my top advisors, and a side monologue amongst myself, I am told that profitable companies are evil, non-profitable companies are desired, and the American dream is to simply own a home and pay the bills. So innovation, aspiration, competitiveness, and excellence no longer matter. How did this intellectual retardation occur? How did everyone become dumber than Kim Jong Il? How did it get to the point where everyone seems to speak out of both sides of their mouths and declare they are not contradicting themselves? How did it become where pro-profit individuals are automatically relegated as being affilliated to the Republican party and one who is against profits for both corporations and individuals are cast as Democrats? Is it only those who currently hold, or those who currently seek to hold leadership positions grasp that they are all profiteers and selfishly greedy as much as I, the greatest CEO of all time? Does no one get that Oil is a must until something better, exceedingly better than ethanol, comes along on a global scale? That Global Warming is much more a scare tactic than any true man made article of imminent self destruction? The world wants plastic and concrete. Both need oil to produce. So oil company Exxon Mobil posted a beautiful capitalistic profit of almost $40,000,000,000 and becuase the economy is down in the dumps it's the haves that are to blame so they are the evil empire. Meanwhile all of the presidential candidates are hurting by taking exemplary action and not using their planes, cars, homes etc. so to show us all how evil it is to be associated with oil. I see Microsoft posted a wonderful capital profit of $14,000,000,000 and they remain embraced as representing good over evil all the while consuming oil based items. Yet I look at our soddy gravedigger financial institutions and see they have wonderful capitalistic losses, but I see rage and angst against these corporations for providing no profits, the opposite of how Exxon Mobil is treated. So I ask, why is Exxon Mobil so detested for being successful at its business? Microsoft is successful but not detested in similar fashion, and the financial institutions are teetering on the brink of utter collapse and no one is cheering. This is insanity of such proportions that I am just so glad to drink my coffee from my elitist Corporate Dick coffee mug. Matter of fact, I think I'll put on my cozy Corporate Dick sweat shirt and relish the agony of capitalism.


If you do not win or succeed because the rules did not go your way, change the rules until you win. I think things are heating up on the political front.


CD