Typical White Person

There it was. It lingered so heavily just above my head that its volume level echoed louder and louder … Typical White Person… Typical White Person… Oh the humanity! How will we ever survive!? The angry mass of seven thousand pastors, priests, reverends and rabbis forced my mouth open and stuffed it full of peanut butter. It was this old American form of torture known as peanut butter boarding. My protestations were oppressed by excessive dry boarding. It was easy to breathe as I inhaled air. I was scared knowing that I could breathe. I begged them to stop. I begged for water and each time I begged I was granted generous amounts of water. It made the peanut butter easier to swallow. I asked for some bread and I was given bread. I was falling into total darkness and could feel the rush of the nervous blood in my veins scold my brain for rational thought. Being a Typical White Person, aka TWP, makes it difficult to grasp how I could receive whatever I ask for. The seven thousand began approaching again. I screamed in protest, my mouth full of peanut butter, bread and water yet I slurped out ... how an weee ylet sluch ofendsive naime mcalling khun tin u? Visible spray flung from each disembodied word I spoke. How could this person be qualified to be a Senator let alone the next president of the United States!? Red and orange filled the back of my eyelids just as my eyes burst wide open. I stared up at the ceiling as I gathered my whereabouts. I rose, slid my feet into my Typical White Person slippers as the warmth enveloped me as I realized how good it is to be a Typical White Person. I wondered for a moment or two as I watched my elitist nanny prepare my favorite Corporate Dick coffee. What do all these white media pundits have against being called a Typical White Person? I called Trolly at the office and inquired… Trolly is there any peanut butter there at the office?

Truth hurts and denial is a beautiful thing.

CD
Change involves that which is unfamiliar. Voting for change by electing the same schmucks keeps us tightly wound into social insanity and our mouths remain full of peanut butter. Vote for water.