The United States of Xenophobia

If you are an excellent CEO you will have an inherited, innate and hysterically orchestrated embedded core anchored in xenophobia. It comes naturally when you are naturally despised. Extrapolate that down the corporate ladder to the lowest rungs and you will see that there are variations in the constitutional elements within the masses xenophobia. At the elitist rung where I exist the xenophobia is more fear focused. That is why I wear a bullet proof vest. It is not that I am fearful of others but rather of others animosity towards me. The more animosity that exists the more I know I am doing my job. At the lower rungs, where the little people swim, dance, and scrump, the xenophobia is strongly based in both fear and hatred. This is good for the elitist rich and ruling class such as myself as it keeps things in the appropriate pecking order. If the lower masses all of a sudden realized there is strength in numbers, and juxtaposition themselves just so, the current balance of things could possibly tumble in favor of the have nots. Shh. Just think of the chaos these minions would cause simply trying to execute one simple task. Imagine them trying to determine how to distribute wealth. I can only conclude that they are at the lower echelons for a reason. If your neurons are snapping together with an understanding of what has just been presented to you then you understand what is going on in the United States of Xenophobia. Maybe you should vote for a change. Then what is mine will be yours and we can join hands and sing that sappy 1970s coca cola song ... Id like to teach the world to sing ... Trolly! Where are the vomit bags? I think I feel nauseous. By the way, everyone in that video got laid... mmmmm... Question is in what way?

CD
If you fear death wear a vest.

Predicktors

As you tumble and stumble through the bumbles and rumbles of productive worker abuse, try to remember the whimpers about all the embers that usually push through. Mind those notions to exclude the expulsions that lead to compulsions resulting in convulsions for managements revulsion that always set in motion those corporate ladder propulsions that turn to repulsions for you.

CD
Sometimes you do smell just like the excrescence that you exude. A career lesson brought to you by the babble of the rabble.

Helpful Tips From The Greatest CEO Ever

Since I am the best of the best then one of the greatest things I can do is pass along tips now and then to help the lower expectations to achieve minimal success in their corporate endeavors. Here are some simple but effective things you can do to make all of the executives achieve greatness, excessive and unwarranted bonuses that assure the masses business is being conducted as usual, and promotions that truly bring in the dough.

1. A very efficient way to challenge yourself and take advantage of a liberal sick leave policy is to mix a teaspoon, or two, of Comet or Ajax in with your coffee. Though it may add a light acrid taste to your beverage it also expedites that inevitable need for a nice relaxing day off to get a well deserved colonoscopy. Take home photos are available upon request and most corporate health plans cover the procedure. Plus, the side effects of the elixir will provide you with a few relaxing days away from the office.

2. One of the best things you can do for management and possibly your coworkers is to just shut the fuck up for the whole day (or your whole work life cycle). Why open your trap and say anything? No one wants to hear your shit anyway. Go easy on yourself and your coworkers. Surf the Internet, email stupid jokes, photos, and make new contacts on chat lines. Be sure to check with your HR department to make sure they are aware that you are doing this. This will possibly provide you with a few days away from the office but with more healthful benefits than item one above. Besides, who wants the whole organization to know you had a colonoscopy? Schmuck.

3. Another great stress reliever is to abuse your chair until one of the legs collapse. If done properly you may get extra benefits by banging your chin on the desk as you tumble to the floor. This benefits yoru coworkers too especially if you have to get your jaw wired shut. If done expertly, but only if you are located on a second or third floor, you could even make it a truly great learning experience as well as a nice time off package, and even possible entertainment for the whole office. Launch yourself down the stairs while seated in your chair while feigning you were moving the chair to a new location on the next floor down. This works best if you launch back first. The best upside on this venture is a potentially sizable payoff from workers compensation that goes beyond just medical bills. Plus, if everyone is luckier than you, you will never return to the office. You do not have to hear their drivel and they do not have to tolerate your existence. Plus you might get sympathy votes during the next hiring period. Who said the good ole boy system is dead?

4. Have kids? Exhausted? Asking yourself why did you ever think having kids would be a great thing? Finding yourself wishing you could just have a Saturday to yourself or that you could volunteer to go on a business trip without worrying about ungrateful humidgetroids? Well do not fret any longer. There are many free, or inexpensive, 24 hour, weekly, monthly, total flexible care takers available that most employees never even realize are just around the corner. It does not matter the age of your precious little societal deviants, the experiences and life lessons they can gain are invaluable. Yes, you can now tell management you are available at a moments notice. All you need to do is pull up to that shopping center, public park, or urban center and drop off the little weenies with any homeless person that has that special glean in their eyes. If they are staring up at the sky aimlessly yet holding a discussion with whatever they are looking towards the better it is for the well being of all. This is a great social program that instills self worth for the homeless person, and provides some self actualization for both kiddies and homeless that things are pretty fucking great as they are. I always looked for those with nice heavy army jackets in case the weather turned colder than anticipated.

5. Got scissors? Use them. Any location on your body will do. Take one for the team. This will help get everyone off for at least a day. Provide great office conversation. Make many feign that they are truly concerned with your meaningless existence and just might get you some sympathy gifts, if not a little bonus yourself. Plus, upper management will notice you tremendously. After all, you just got them free advertising on all the major media networks. Your famous!

I hope these few tips are spot on for what ails most. I have had to utilize each one over the years. I have to say I would not be the great CEO that I am had I not. Consider this my good deed for the month to those of you who live for lower expectations than your annual performance appraisals.

CD
Sometimes if you try really hard you can fail more and still feel good about it.

Pacifiers and Diapers

Sometimes it just transforms us. A great CEO understands how infantile and dependent the underlings can become. They can become so institutionalized that they begin to believe they have a predominant right to their job and that the employer must provide for them in all parts of their lives. I just discovered that one of our money loser divisions has still not implemented any plan to correct its course yet productive time is being spent with employees attending meetings for safety. Certainly I understand we all want to feel safe but to hold a meeting, monthly or weekly, is plain silliness. I was astounded and decided to attend one of these meetings incognito. Since Corporate Dick produces nothing at the headquarters office I could not imagine what this safety discussion could entail. I sat and listened in amazement and disgust. They were discussing healthy dinner meals, allergies for playing outside, lightning dangers when away from work, driving safely, exposure to the sun and sun screen, then they started discussing impending layoffs. Nothing had to do with safety on the job! Unbelievable time wasting folly! I asked the head of this division why this was being allowed. The response was attributed to corporate liability to prevent lawsuits. Have we lost our marbles? Should not the company counter sue for employee stupidity? How an employee chooses to live and act outside of work should not be grounds for them to blame the company for not guiding them through life. In retrospect I see costs are increasing. Maybe we should look at moving some of our operations to countries where employees live on their own. There are countries where children are more responsible for their actions than adult employees. What am I paying for? I called Trolly to set up a meeting with our lawyers. It is time to fix the wagon or is it baby strollers. Stop pandering. Perhaps pacifiers and diapers should be given to each employee.

CD

Are You Soft? Am I Soft?

I think some are getting a hard misconception from my prior posting. There is no eloquent way for me to repine. I am a fucking CEO. The elite of all Corporate Dicks. A dick to be reckoned with. A soft Corporate Dick does not exist in reality. Perhaps in the nether world of extreme ideological subconscious realms there are some soft Corporate Dicks but think not. A true Corporate Dick is hard to the core. We have fine examples everyday around us. The scary side is we also have examples of limpness. My post of yesterday that mentioned Wal-Mart was not intended to influence them towards softness in foregoing the all mighty profit motives for their pure existence. Rather the reverse. If you are not making extreme profits, no matter the means, then you are not doing your job and politics would be a better environment for you. Perhaps running for president? I once interacted with a simple employee who was acting nervous and anxious. I asked what was causing such behavior. The employee said they were building an EAC. I asked what on Earth is an EAC? The employee said it stood for Estimate at Complete and that it provided management with insight as to what everything would cost at the completion of the year. Stunned I fired the twit on the spot. I then went to find out who the employee’s supervisor was and fired them pronto. We do not complete anything in this company. It would kill our profits. I am not deficient in hardness.

CD

Keeping Them Down

Sometimes most individuals, the lesser Antilles of us all, need to be reminded of very serious and potentially harmful impacts that can occur from personal actions that could be prevented if simple remedial educational media were disseminated. I cannot stress enough so that the masses comprehend that if you light a match or cause a spark to gasoline it will ignite into a very intense event of hot burning flames. The CEO of Wal Mart should be extremely cognizant of this. Click here to understand how perilous this could be to Wal Mart profits. A good CEO would take care of their employees especially when they are already defeated and down. Just because they are lower than your own elitist superiority is no reason to posture them as an anathema with a plethora of profligating antagonism.

CD

Typical White Person

There it was. It lingered so heavily just above my head that its volume level echoed louder and louder … Typical White Person… Typical White Person… Oh the humanity! How will we ever survive!? The angry mass of seven thousand pastors, priests, reverends and rabbis forced my mouth open and stuffed it full of peanut butter. It was this old American form of torture known as peanut butter boarding. My protestations were oppressed by excessive dry boarding. It was easy to breathe as I inhaled air. I was scared knowing that I could breathe. I begged them to stop. I begged for water and each time I begged I was granted generous amounts of water. It made the peanut butter easier to swallow. I asked for some bread and I was given bread. I was falling into total darkness and could feel the rush of the nervous blood in my veins scold my brain for rational thought. Being a Typical White Person, aka TWP, makes it difficult to grasp how I could receive whatever I ask for. The seven thousand began approaching again. I screamed in protest, my mouth full of peanut butter, bread and water yet I slurped out ... how an weee ylet sluch ofendsive naime mcalling khun tin u? Visible spray flung from each disembodied word I spoke. How could this person be qualified to be a Senator let alone the next president of the United States!? Red and orange filled the back of my eyelids just as my eyes burst wide open. I stared up at the ceiling as I gathered my whereabouts. I rose, slid my feet into my Typical White Person slippers as the warmth enveloped me as I realized how good it is to be a Typical White Person. I wondered for a moment or two as I watched my elitist nanny prepare my favorite Corporate Dick coffee. What do all these white media pundits have against being called a Typical White Person? I called Trolly at the office and inquired… Trolly is there any peanut butter there at the office?

Truth hurts and denial is a beautiful thing.

CD
Change involves that which is unfamiliar. Voting for change by electing the same schmucks keeps us tightly wound into social insanity and our mouths remain full of peanut butter. Vote for water.

The Race is On

Some have labeled me acerbic. No doubt the tin man and the red truck will think of me in this manner. It is no fault of their own, they deserve too. The Democratic National Comedy show is going extremely well. Not being able to profit more from the entertainment value of it all is what bothers me most. Apparently it is now more than just an issue of being a presidential race. Just what race is it now? I am tired from the flight and have cancelled my morning meetings. Never perform CEO duties if you don’t feel superior and elitist. Besides, my Corporate Dick Coffee Mug was being washed. Hug your pastor, priest, reverend, rabbi, or whatever squabble head you relegate to be your life guide, mentor, or tormentor. Life, love, race and hate are all four letter words. Get it? Time is wasting and the meek are becoming confused. Such folly.

CD

Swimming Through The Muck

Sure they might be smiling and pleasant to you. But as a great CEO you have to learn from the past of the future mistakes made. Iniquity abounds all around you. History does repeat itself if you let it. Leopards do not change their spots, they just change their coats and move on. It is the victims that are nefarious in the work place. Shun them with all your might until you can be rid of them. No matter their good natured demeanor, they are of that multiple personality that so instills itself to all who work in the corporate environment. It is going to get very complicated. When you can see the future and not communicate it to anyone you become quite frustrated. Complications involve simple solutions. So there you are, feet up on the desk looking at the red button that could end it all for someone else. Perhaps it is one nefarious dweeb that you like or one transmuting dweeb you despise. The choice is never easy because neither will really ever reward you with pure probity as they should. Choices are made easily in this vain. You push the red button that signals directly to your executive secretary. Yes Mr. Dick what is it? Replies the voice at the other end of the jetliner phone. …Trolly, I want you to have the tin man and the red truck in my office first thing tomorrow morning… I instruct. ….Will do Mr. Dick… My decision is made. The weight of the financial markets rests on this critical decision. The corporate jet continues the flight path back to Corporate Headquarters. I will arrive there tonight around 11 PM. It is 6 PM now. I will pass the time playing with my Tonka Toys and Lincoln Logs… and maybe my Play dough Clay Factory. A snow cone sounds good. I check under the seat to ensure I still have my platinum parachute. After all, there is turbulence ahead.

CD

What Chickens Roost in Your World

What is the matter with a little piece of peace, love and understanding? Recently I have had to drink more coffee than usual from my prestigious Corporate Dick coffee mug. Somewhere certainly John Lennon said god damn America. Being the greatest that I am I feel compelled to ramble what is on my mind. Sometimes the comedy has to give way to more comedy. One of the central reasons that I have become the greatest CEO of all time, and in the process built the most powerful company in the world, is that I have not pandered to the politically correctness sensitivities of the hypocritical disingenuous media pundits, educators, business leader wannabes etc. A great leader speaks their mind and a great country lets them do so without dissecting every possible atom and molecule of potential meaning that may possibly be spun from or to it. Because our great nation and capitalistic society was built by a majority of white humans, and in some geographical areas these white humans condemned black humans to a life of enslavement and treated as sub-human conditions, does not mean I am not white. I am white. Being so, calls upon my senses to first notice that for the first time I am seeing a black human in America being categorized as being racist. Oh sure presently the media is all pious and swaggering in equality speak as though giving Barack Obama the benefit of the doubt all the while putting the subtle hints of racism by association to a pastor, who is a black human, that has not just seen racism but lived it. Prior to this it has been the silliness of exploding a simple quote by his wife Michelle as being anti American. Any rational individual of any color knows that when someone in their 30s or older begin comments with the words …for the first time in my life… it usually is not the first time at all. For the first time in my life I see the castigation of people into stereotypes of being anti American because they criticize current policies that have possibly become outdated. The great CEOs and leaders who framed our constitution did so with the strong belief that all, and I stress the word ALL, citizens of this great nation are to be allowed inalienable rights. Freedom of speech, religion, and assembly are some of these most precious rights to be protected by the first amendment. Freedom of speech was certainly meant to enable balance and inspire and share thought that cause all to ponder what is right and what is possibly not right. History here has shown that at certain times things were believed to be right and later, because of the right to speak freely and challenge current policies or practices or norms, those things were subsequently deemed to be wrong. With out the freedom to challenge and question, in any manner, would never see new seeds of thought be planted for intellectual advancement so that we all grow for the ever elusive betterment of the human condition. These media pundits and the media channels themselves currently regulate social engineering to the order in which they desire specific outcomes. Slavery was one of them. It was white humans in the Northern states that voiced this challenge to the practices and policies of slavery. Atrocities of this issue have been relegated from and across both sides of the white and black human experience, and they continue to be perpetrated to this day. Being white, growing up white, and living white is completely different than being black, growing up black, and living black, from both perspectives. Especially in the United States of America. Am I the only one that gets the angst that reverend Wright puts forth in some of his selectively chosen soundbites that now play on all media channels? Anyone who thinks differently is incapable of real thought. The point is why or how could a majority of white media pundits truly comprehend and understand the way urban blacks communicate and interact in their communities? Segregation is still prominent. For the first time in my life I am proud to be an American (just as Michelle Obama) to see a black human having a serious chance of being elected as president. Does this now castigate me as being anti American? It gains us all much more than any other kind of attempt to cross this racial divide that does exist because of humans who exist for power, greed, and ratings. If we do not correct our course of discourse amongst each other we will fall from greatness. So fellow corporate citizens figure it out before it all implodes on you. Pettiness returns us nothing of worth.

CD

Capitalism Interference

I do not know where to begin this fine day. What better example of capitalism interference could there be than the Fed backing the J.P. Morgan purchase of Bear Stearns? Tremendous! If you are going to be a great CEO and leader then you have to be a team player. With that in mind it is best that the status quo be maintained. The rich must stick together. The stock price for BSC just might be at a premium. It is tough enough just trying to remember how to spell Bernanke so we should just refer to him as Ben the Second of Greenspan. We cannot have the global economy feel the results of its attempts to wreak economic havoc upon our great nation. Stand tall and be superior to no one. Great leaders are not born or made, they are for sale. Meanwhile the good fight continues between the greatest live comedy performance ever in the history of the world. Barack boom boom Obama versus Hillary do over Clinton. Remember it is the long term that matters. What is happening now is not long term so it does not matter.

CD

Wimpy CEOs

It is good to see that Larry King is hosting the new Hookers Live talk show. However, there is another story taking place while the former CEO of New York, The Itsy Bitsy Spitzer, is in the prime time spot light. Supposedly Mr. Spitzer is walking on tipped toes. There is a very irritating breed of CEOs, and possibly worker bees. I call them wimpys. Wimpy CEOs are sleazy opportunists that strike when another fellow CEO is getting clobbered in the public eye. One such wimp is Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly. Coming out and publicly apologizing for trying to increase profits by diminishing safety priorities while Mr. Spitzer takes all the heat due to the complete public consumption of a powerful CEO sex scandal is simply cowardice. Apologizing at this point in the game just cuts into all of the profits gained by the safety diminishment strategy that was implemented. Shame. Whatever happened to ethical conduct? Towel snapping for your derriere at the country club showers for you Mr. Kelly. Great CEOs keep to their strategies even during the rough times because they know that the long run will bear fruit even while the short term may give the illusion that the fruit is rotting.

CD

The Itsy Bitsy Spitzer

The neurons are clashing so fast that my insanity looms at the edge of the black holes in space except I see the other side but can’t describe it. It is just known. And so it is with another great CEO slain yet again by the silliness of hypocritical media, corporate and politicians who some are no doubt trembling with utter fear as they state over and over to themselves - Please do not let it be me that gets discovered next. We should be applauding this brave leader for still getting it even though he puts in 80 hour weeks. The great CEOs are so challenged by standards today that go beyond the pale and the veil. Certainly his spouse understands this and even demonstrates it as she proudly stands by his side to help him through this terrible persecution. An old balding guy gets laid and we admonish him into the depths of moral wickedness as if he is the most vile thing since terrorists struck the towers. Stand up America! Be proud of the social products we engineer and mold into what they are.

CD
Paid for by the society for liberty and the pursuit of happiness per the mandates of a CEO

Naughtical Assuage

Superb to be insane while appearing well. No doubt all are feeling the strain of the horrible situation being felt by the award of the Air Force contract to Northrop Grumman and EADS and not to Boeing. Because Boeing lost they complained. Because EADS is a foreign company that partnered with Northrop, and because the timing is in the midst of a heated Democratic presidential campaign, the non-issue is now a major issue of such proportions that one should just offer their job up to any foreigner who will have it. Besides, you can then have time to do what you want. How dare this pontification be allowed to happen! Great CEOs will simply point out that the company submitted a proposal and that throughout the process the government agency in control of the procurement action was aware of the corporate teams participating in the game of schmoozing to get the win. This is a prime example of why it is just better to play it like Boeing, cheat and take the gamble of getting caught. Even if you get caught it's only a short term thing which, as I've pointed out before, doesn't matter. It's the long term that counts. Unless you're a CEO like Spitzer and even then there really is no harm on the home front as it is accepted and expected by the spouses of said scandal participant. Did I say scandal? CEOs know no such word. Perhaps I have spent too much time with the lower class at CNN and FOX. Since my day began with this silliness crammed in front of my face upon awakening, I walked around the workers area for a bit. Then I realized some had two monitors on their desks while others only had one. Conclusion? It is more cost effective to increase profits by cheating and not trying new approaches. Waste means more profits. On a brighter note Mary Ann from Gilligans Island television fame was caught with marijuana in her car. I wonder if anyone notified homeland security. We can not have productivity threatened like this. But let us find some way to assuage all of this so we can feel good, in a liberal republican way. The Demorepubleral way. A naughtical (spelling intended) way. I hear Glenn Beck conferred with an archbishop about Barack Obama, and then Media Matters accused Glenn Beck of calling Barack Obama the Antichrist. Then Keith Olbermann awarded Glenn Beck an award for being worse because he called Barack the Antichrist. Not that Olbermann is good on any level, it is just some bottom feeders are persistent. Great CEOs never have to be either (the Antichrist or bottom feeders). Maybe Glenn should hook up with Mary Ann, Media Matters, and Keith Olbermann to smoke with them.

CD

What's In Your Kismet?

It is urgent that I get this message to as many as possible. Such colliding chaos and turmoil runs amuck in my vast CEO cranium. I ended up mingling with the lower echelon by accident this weekend and was told that the end is near. Some are saying it is in the year of their father 2012, others stated it could be any day now. I woke this morning in a cold sweat as most superior CEOs do. I dreamt that they were plotting my execution for defending an innocent person that worked for one of my subsidiaries. Apparently the Vatican has identified new sins to keep us all busy with incurring additional costs of freedom. When I realized that the FBI was investigating Countrywide for securities fraud I felt all warm outside and all cold inside. At last someone would be recognized and championed for outstanding performance in a financial market. All of a sudden my late uncle Wahtya Noen appeared and began informing me that sometimes we find ourselves at points in our lives where we think we arrived by some predestined kismet. Many times these are simply true things that we should ignore so that we do not make decisions that should never be undecided. I could only think that when a CEO lets their guard down and believes they are serving their interests based on some foretold kismet of fortune, or misfortune, there is only one disastrous outcome that can be. Uncle Wahtya Noen simply regurgitated on to never believe in the power of love unless you are wearing a condom. The key is to remain somewhere and do not let anyone notice when you are no where. Otherwise you might get to wear bits of gewgaw to get yourself temporarily noticed, but who cares in that regard or vain? Either way you will still look like Herbert Hoover, be you male or female. However, on the bright side of it all, your biggest achievements may be changing car insurance, fantasizing, and reconciling your life by lying to yourself in your old age that you wouldn't trade a thing or do anything differently. This separates the meek from the executive classes. It is the only instance where denial and truth are clearly polarized to their own kismet. Who's running for president? So now you know what happens when the meek are promoted to executive positions. Just say Countrywide, Enron, or World com. I still don't understand why these companies aren't praised for returning non-profits. They have shown they are not evil greedy organizations like Nike and Microsoft. Where is Michael Moore when he is truly needed? A life lived through benevolence is a life riddled without destiny and infested with bouts of perpetual delirium.

I always said Ken Lay was a pussy.

CD

The Agony of Capitalism

It is quite astonishing the disdain that success in American business can brood. It is even comical how some see the world differently than the greatest CEO such as myself. In discussions with my top advisors, and a side monologue amongst myself, I am told that profitable companies are evil, non-profitable companies are desired, and the American dream is to simply own a home and pay the bills. So innovation, aspiration, competitiveness, and excellence no longer matter. How did this intellectual retardation occur? How did everyone become dumber than Kim Jong Il? How did it get to the point where everyone seems to speak out of both sides of their mouths and declare they are not contradicting themselves? How did it become where pro-profit individuals are automatically relegated as being affilliated to the Republican party and one who is against profits for both corporations and individuals are cast as Democrats? Is it only those who currently hold, or those who currently seek to hold leadership positions grasp that they are all profiteers and selfishly greedy as much as I, the greatest CEO of all time? Does no one get that Oil is a must until something better, exceedingly better than ethanol, comes along on a global scale? That Global Warming is much more a scare tactic than any true man made article of imminent self destruction? The world wants plastic and concrete. Both need oil to produce. So oil company Exxon Mobil posted a beautiful capitalistic profit of almost $40,000,000,000 and becuase the economy is down in the dumps it's the haves that are to blame so they are the evil empire. Meanwhile all of the presidential candidates are hurting by taking exemplary action and not using their planes, cars, homes etc. so to show us all how evil it is to be associated with oil. I see Microsoft posted a wonderful capital profit of $14,000,000,000 and they remain embraced as representing good over evil all the while consuming oil based items. Yet I look at our soddy gravedigger financial institutions and see they have wonderful capitalistic losses, but I see rage and angst against these corporations for providing no profits, the opposite of how Exxon Mobil is treated. So I ask, why is Exxon Mobil so detested for being successful at its business? Microsoft is successful but not detested in similar fashion, and the financial institutions are teetering on the brink of utter collapse and no one is cheering. This is insanity of such proportions that I am just so glad to drink my coffee from my elitist Corporate Dick coffee mug. Matter of fact, I think I'll put on my cozy Corporate Dick sweat shirt and relish the agony of capitalism.


If you do not win or succeed because the rules did not go your way, change the rules until you win. I think things are heating up on the political front.


CD

Lou Dobbs or Dobbsnonsensical?

I have to admit the chaos churns swiftly inside my CEO cranium today. It is with much imperialistic disdain for the dishonorable wilting that Mr. Lou Dobbs espoused on his show the other day. To exude to the sheep the personal emotions towards a true CEO is tantamount to blasphemy if not out right degradation of self worthiness. To blame the second greatest CEO, George W. Bush, for all the economic woes is pure folly. Certainly this outburst demonstrates that even the elite wannabes such as Mr. Dobbs himself have been prey in the economic turmoil, of which he has made a living clamoring about for years. The same economic periods that provided good times of wealth building for all. Where was the complaining and whining when the good times were being relished with much reckless abandonment? Me thinks Dobbs needs to vent his angst at his own kind. It is just complete Dobbsnonsensicalism. A good CEO never admonishes another CEO in public. This is best kept in the country club showers where derrieres can be snapped with the flick of the ever scowling towel of whispdom. Shame on you Mr. Dobbs. There are more positive things to espouse through your medium empire such as the bonuses that the CEOs and their executive entourages are being given for championing the destruction of the evil mortgage boom. Let us relish in the supposed bad times that everyone seems to be complaining about. Don’t you understand that the short term does not matter? It is the long term that counts. Could it be that phonies will be discovered over the duration of this great economic shake up? Everyone drives better in the back seat. Perhaps the economy is going to the Low.

CD

Proper Executive Recruiting and Evaluation Techniques

It is a glorious day to be a CEO. The rookie Mr. Zuckerman is learning how to un-whine and poach key executives, and the fine row of executives at WAMU are redesigning their bonus performance metrics into a more “rewards friendly” representation of measurement. This will ensure the fine breed of greed are rewarded for “what the numbers would have been if we had not screwed the pooch and let things get so out of hand.”

So, as I sit here on my executive chair, I realize that corporate stewardship is finely revising and redefining itself in such a fashion as to mirror our student grading processes within our public school systems. No one is a failure, and it is no ones fault or responsibility, the ones in charge just got dealt a lousy set of cards. Group Hugs!!

CD

Non-Direction

It is difficult to grasp that those around me thought I had gone missing. It is a common mistake for one to get Monday holiday’s mixed up. I thought yesterday was a holiday and acted accordingly. Today is Super Tuesday 2 and we will have the garrulous recap for you as soon as we have an inkling of where things are heading. Since my company, Corporate Dick Inc., and myself, the greatest CEO of all kind, began this nascent towards the ultimate empire manifestations that just exist for the sole purpose of inscrutable objectives and missions, the mysterious foofaraw continues to grow around the Corporate Dick products that are available to all without discrimination. I just love quality items. Remember, never look to the East when you want to go West, never look South when you want to go North, and never look down if you want to go up. It looks chilly outside.

CD
P.S. The ladder has many rungs.