The Fish with No Scales

It is a great day. I am currently lithium challenged. I think most believe CEOs, the truly great ones such as myself, only pander simple thoughts within their massive craniums of genius. The following should provide much insight into just how complex, confusing, and insane their true critical thoughts are. Their minds are filled with somber, serious, urgent, comical, light, deep, dark, combusting matter that starts as chaos the moment they awake. It is then melded into some form of substantive and sensible rationale, contrived, construed, stretched, and reshaped during their wake state only to be re-subjugated back to chaos when they retire later that night. Yesterday I, the bon vivant CEO, was unable to post due to crises regarding a new Corporate Dick conference table purchase. One of my top advisors questioned my choice. Normally I would have simply dismissed them to their proper rung on the corporate ladder, but somehow I heard what they were saying which caused my distraction. It was during this exchange that my mind wandered off, as it normally does, for I am a critical thinking CEO, to a realm of clarity regarding those alepidotes that roam among us. They will align themselves as if a trustworthy present or erstwhile fiend (yes fiend no letter r intended) of another all the while denying their cohorting bracketology methods that cast exploitive teratomas about your being. They will silently lapidate you through a multitude of physical and metaphysical means. Great CEOs will weed them out like a ferret hunting its prey. You can train yourself to identify them by purchasing my book, How to Catch the Elusive Alepidote. I am also in process of co-authoring a new book, Alepidote Fishing for Dummies. Alepidotes in the organization often feign themselves to be of a temerarious nature serving up false platitudes. As I have identified in my elements of a corporate dick brief, the reality is a nature that is one of shallowness, not to be confused with likeness. So if that oddball individual who use to never give you the time of day suddenly starts hitting you up for small talk, attempts to saddle up to you as though you are best friends forever etc. be forewarned. There is most likely an agenda being played. Read your keys (not the house keys etc. that say “do not duplicate”). Always ask why type questions. And most of all, whatever you do, stay ever paranoid and try to advance down a rung or two every now and then before you jump. I have to go refill my lithium prescription and toss Oregon sunstones to the corporate Gods of destiny, a faith based initiative.

CD

P.S. I forgot what I was going to P.S.