Critical Thought (CT) 1

CT 1

Every now and then you can't see a difference of indifference.

Monday behavior predictor

Males - your pants are unzipped
Females - your cell phone batteries are low
All others - remain seated

CD

Where Leaders Do Not Exist

Trolly I cannot find the light switch on my own. Somehow I have been defenestrated to a netherworld of incomprehensible tolerance. I find this to be intolerable when the tolerance levels have breached the threshold that then requires intolerance. Cheers to the West. I appeared inside a Shell gas station and found my beer of choice. Nothing better than a good India Pale Ale for the bitter hopped job of delegation. I took one out of the six pack and proceeded to the counter. I looked at the attendant and inquired if there were any pet friendly hotels around. He replied in a manner truly befitting a stoned Tommy Chong ... uh I don't know I never stay at them... to which I replied ... neither do I... the attendant was now partially confused and hesitantly continued to ring up my bottle of beer. It was as if he was trying to remember something. Just as he was bagging the bottle, while the charge processed through the electronic retail system of credit tolerance, he stopped and in another gracious stoned stupor approximating stuttering he stated ... uh we cant sell this beer by the bottle... I paused and briefly stared at him with the intellect befitting a third grader mentality and replied ...Why? This completely baffled him and I knew we would remain frozen in time unless great leadership was implemented immediately. I stated ... okay... and rushed back to the beer section and grabbed the six pack from which I had taken the one bottle and returned to the counter. I informed the challenged youth to take the simple path and ring up the six pack. The charge processed and as he started to draw a bag to place the six pack in I grabbed my bottle and said ... keep the rest I just want the one bottle... the stoner was paralyzed and unable to comprehend what actions this would require him to do... It was out of my hands. Leadership was defenestrated with my departing. Now to find sleeping quarters without anyone knowing they are serving the greatest CEO of all time... The pets have become a great disguise of liberal concern for all humanity as I witness pure gluttony all around me. I pull into a Travel Lodge Inn... Ah... a tavern of possible future consequence...

CD
Sometimes leaving is safer than staying put.

God Bless Corporate Dick!!!

Some points to consider, or Tips From A CEO.

Remember in this day and age profits are evil, non profits are bad, but bonuses are always warranted, in good times and bad.

From Exxon to Washington Mutual, from the East coast to the West, the only thing wrong for any CEO, is to not make a lot of green from the environment.

Pave the Planet, and Save the Males, The Universe is falling, and time will tell the tale.

Red rover red rover send Al Gore on over… uh… please don’t send Al Gore on over…. Unless it is over there which is way far away from over here...

Brought to you by the National Green Corporation to Make You Feel Good About Buying Green Products That Are No Earth Friendlier Than Other Than Green Products.

CD
Sometimes when you see something you do not notice it.

Hello Trolly

Hello Trolly. I am not sure where I am but know that I am not in my email. You know the sign that things are going well is when all you get in your email inbox are those messages from the system administrator that tell you your email message was sent and received or that so and so read your email. What a concept. Somethings are simply incomprehensible. How could anyone believe that unless they were themselves a CEO. So Trolly I looked down just now and noticed something appears wrong. Not only do my feet feel and appear to be pointing behind me, but one of my top advisers has taken umbrage amongst me. I feel they may be plying me with some type of cavil revelry. Though I may be contrite and convey some leveled acumen of parsimonious content, one cannot denounce my sentient being. This is what sets me apart Trolly. I am a disparate canorous susurrus assiduous lacuna surrounded with trepidation yet sacrosanct in an outre nonage of todays mendacious verdure. Perhaps it was or is from the fire. Where are you Trolly?

CD
Sometimes you must promenade alone. If you are moving forward and everyone or everything else is moving backwards then you have not moved at all.

APB - ALERT! Corporate Dick Missing

This is Trolly. To all, CD has gone missing. We are all looking for him with great urgency. Please help us find Corporate Dick. He is of variable height, somewhat thin, gray complexion, faceless features, and wearing blue pants. Use extreme caution and notify Corporate Dick Headquarters. He may be kicking employees in the nuts or hallucinating that he is bleeding to death. We are unsure what position the light switch was last in. Please try to hear what he is saying, mainly if what he is saying sounds like nonsensical ramblings or common sense. This will allow us to determine the issue with the light switch.

Please help us find CD. Thank You.

Trolly

Feeling Wimpy

Feeling Wimpy? You should. You showed up for work as usual. What a putz. So what if you are feeling like an amalgam of fustian cronyism. Upper management is more likely to promote those they relate too and feel most comfortable with. With that stated why not try and be more like upper management. Use your sick time on Fridays or Mondays so they know you are just like them, one who cringes two day weekends and knows the vital importance of being away from the office. It increases productivity when you are not there.

CD
Sometimes the smallest things are the largest of all.

Pretending

So I prepare to leave. I left. Good bye. The airliner hits the confluent currents just over 31,000 feet. We drop instantly 2,000 feet. The sop behind me figured he did not need that seat belt while seated and was instantly smashed into the overhead storage bin. The snapping of his neck and the simultaneous crushing of his nose into his eye sockets exploded a noise I hope to never hear again. I am just glad he had no chance to make any human sounds of agony. The starboard engine raced then went silent and immediately after the jolt of the plane catching its wings horizontally the several pukers began their chores. Just then the port engine went silent and the angle of our adventure began to descend nose first. I thought briefly in my usual sardonic manner ... lets see them serve those little snacks now... and ...guess there is nothing like being the movie instead of seeing it... the plane was now almost vertical and the g forces were uncomfortable to say the least. I had heard that to get the engines started again that the pilots would have to take a nose dive to do so. I hoped that was what was going on. I began to wonder what the impact will be like when we hit the ocean at this rate. I thought of the movie Castaway. No doubt that was just a movie. I thought about all the dweebs back at the corporate office. Living their safe little lives. Pretending all was well. Faking happiness as they survived one form or another of their self inspired morbidity. I felt a momentary halcyon state from within. Too bad it could not stay forever. We should be gone anytime as seconds sustained themselves across that suspension of time that turns the speed of light into a tortoise pace of slow motion. I thought of Trolly. I know I will miss her. She always provided me a repose of that one who always insisted on getting what one wants through erratic means. She reminded me of myself. In that regard I think we were alike. Both wanting that elusive steady constant that was ever absent within. But what can you do? So it is. The sound of an engine can faintly be heard. I muster every ounce of strength to turn my head towards a window to see whatever I can. Fuck! I swear I see the silhouetted gray gloved hand. Ha! I shout. Where is your controlling light switch now asshole!

CLICK

That bitch! Scrambling wench! I feel as though I am infected with tourettes. Ham fucking biscuits do not exist in a free market enterprise dip shit! Bring it on you dilapidated anchor of excuses! Capital in excess of preferred share warrants can only lead to short term debt embedded in quality circles you corporate dick! Get out of my office! Trolly call the attorneys and get me a double shot of espresso. Private placements have multiple meanings. Tomatoes are going to hit seven dollars a pound which will drive up the cost of precious metals and the increased demand for epoxy and other products such as fiberglass. Twit!

CLICK

What determines when the light switch is turned on or off I thought to myself. The sound of another engine coming to life roared in my ears. To be honest the sound of the engines now were quite compared to their brief absence. I felt the nose of the vessel start towards a horizontal rise. A calm seemed to wash away the intensity of it all. I looked forward for any sign of Trolly. Then wondered if any external damage existed to the plane as it came to a normal position passengers are accustomed too. I look out the window and see Saipan. No doubt we will be landing at Guam very shortly. Tokyo will have to wait a bit. Pretending is fun huh? My peripheral vision caught a glimpse of the gray gloved hand...

CD
Sometimes taking control of your existence returns just that.